Self-Knowledge
can be a sweetheart of a Valentine's Day gift
Newswise — The ideal
Valentine's Day present for people seeking their
sweethearts might be a package of self-knowledge.
Getting that
information isn't that difficult. One way to obtain it
is in the pages of "Finding Your Perfect Match."
Authored by relationship expert and University of
Washington sociology professor Pepper Schwartz, the new
book helps people draw their romantic personality
profile and understand what characteristics are
important to them in the partner for whom they are
searching.
"This book starts
after you discover that chemical attraction with
someone. The chemistry will be maintained or destroyed
by other things," said Schwartz. "I look at those
elements that are needed to support a day-to-day
relationship and help people understand what else is
there besides the chemistry."
"Finding someone to
love is work. You have to be out there looking, just
like finding a job. There are lots people out there who
you could marry. But with the information in this book
you have a better chance of finding your soul mate," she
said.
The book is
based on social science research and the Duet® Total
Compatibility System that Schwartz developed in
conjunction with
http://PerfectMatch.com, a
pioneer online dating site.
The heart of
Schwartz's book is a series of quizzes that provide
readers with the details about the emotional
characteristics of their personalities and their
lifestyle priorities. They help people learn what kind
of person will be compatible in emotionally solid
relationships.
The self-scored
quizzes look at individual romantic impulsivity,
personal energy, outlook, predictability, flexibility,
decision-making style, emotionality and self-nurturing,
or how you communicate your emotional needs.
As important as these
characteristics are, Schwartz said people who are
thinking about living with or marrying someone also
should be in agreement on important lifestyle choices.
People need to be able to discuss their expectations and
feelings about money, sex, children, core values and
their social world because these issues can affect a
relationship. No matter how compatible a couple may seem
be in personality traits, people also have to be
comfortable with their partner's basic values, hopes and
dreams.
"This book is meant to
be a practical way to get insight into your personality
because it is hard to get any kind of objective look at
yourself. It is all about knowing yourself so you are
able to find someone who is great for you," said
Schwartz. "I am trying to show you who you are, what is
important to you and who you might want. It is a way of
knowing what to look for in another person that would
make you happy."
"Finding Your Perfect
Match" is published by Perigee Books, part of the
Penguin Group.