Newswise — High self-esteem may not be
as important as high self-compassion in coping with negative life
events, according to research by Wake Forest University psychologist
Mark Leary.
“Although Western society has
emphasized the importance of high self-esteem, the more important
thing may be to have self-compassion, the ability to treat oneself
kindly in the face of failure, rejection, defeat and other negative
events,” Leary said.
Leary conducted three studies that
consistently showed self-compassion is beneficial in helping people
cope with negative events in ways that are often different from and
better than high self-esteem.
He presented his findings at a
meeting of the American Psychological Association Aug. 20.
Self-compassion and self-esteem
are related, said Leary, who has written 11 books on social
psychology topics, including “The Curse of the Self: Self-awareness,
Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life.”
“Self-compassion involves treating
yourself with the same kindness you would show a friend whether you
feel good about yourself or not,” he said. “Self-esteem is simply
feeling good about yourself.”
The first study presented male and
female college students with three imaginary situations: failing an
important test, losing an athletic competition for a team and
forgetting a part during a performance.
He measured how they thought they
would respond to each situation. The students who scored the highest
on the self-compassion scale experienced fewer negative feelings
when imagining the distressing social events than those who had high
self-esteem.
Leary found those with higher
self-compassion were more likely to think “Everybody goofs up now
and then” and less likely to think “I am such a loser” or “I wish I
could die” in response to each scenario.
In a second study, a group of
college students received either flattering or unflattering feedback
after introducing themselves via video camera to an observer.
Leary found that the participants
rated higher in self-compassion reported being happier and less
angry than participants lower in self-compassion when they received
unflattering responses.
“Self-compassion may buffer people
against negative events and engender positive self-feelings without
the negative features that are sometimes associated with high
self-esteem such as defensiveness and a sense of entitlement,” Leary
said.
In the third study, Leary tried to
increase self-compassion by using a series of exercises. First, the
participants were asked to write about a negative event that they
experienced in high school or college that made them feel badly
about themselves. Leary asked them to list ways in which other
people also experience similar events, write a paragraph expressing
understanding, kindness and concern to themselves in the same way
that they might write a letter to a friend who had undergone the
experience, and describe the event in an objective and unemotional
fashion.
“Study three demonstrated that a
self-compassionate perspective can be induced and that this mindset
can have positive cognitive and emotional effects, at least in the
short term,” Leary wrote in the paper, “Adaptive Self evaluations:
Self-compassion vs. Self-esteem,” co-authored with Wake Forest
graduate students Claire Adams and Eleanor Tate.
Concerned that self-compassion may
lead people to avoid taking responsibility for their problems, Leary
also studied how the research participants explained the negative
events they experienced.
“Highly self-compassionate people
actually took more responsibility for their shortcomings and
problems,” he said. “Because they didn’t beat themselves up when
things went badly for them, they were able to admit their mistakes.”
Some of the positive responses to
failure and rejection credited in the past to higher self-esteem may
really be due to self-compassion, Leary suggests. As he continues to
evaluate the role of self-compassion separate from self-esteem,
Leary sees possible future applications of the research.
“A self-compassionate mindset may
be particularly beneficial for people with low self-esteem,” Leary
said. “The results suggest that fostering a self-compassionate
mindset might be useful in clinical settings with clients who are
excessively self-focused.”