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Contrary
to widely held beliefs, Romance can last in
Long-Term Relationships
Newswise — Romance does not have to fizzle
out in long-term relationships and progress
into a companionship/ friendship-type love,
a new study has found. Romantic love can
last a lifetime and lead to happier,
healthier relationships.
“Many believe that romantic love is the same
as passionate love,” said lead researcher
Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, then at Stony Brook
University (currently at University of
California, Santa Barbara).
“It
isn’t. Romantic love has the intensity,
engagement and sexual chemistry that
passionate love has, minus the obsessive
component.
"Passionate
or obsessive love includes feelings of
uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love
helps drive the shorter relationships but
not the longer ones.”
These findings appear in the March issue of
Review of General Psychology, published by
the American Psychological Association.
Acevedo and co-researcher Arthur Aron, PhD,
reviewed 25 studies with 6,070 individuals
in short- and long-term relationships to
find out whether romantic love is associated
with more satisfaction.
To
determine this, they classified the
relationships in each of the studies as
romantic, passionate (romantic with
obsession) or friendship-like love and
categorized them as long- or short-term.
The researchers looked at 17 short-term
relationship studies, which included 18- to
23-year-old college students who were
single, dating or married, with the average
relationship lasting less than four years.
They also looked at 10 long-term
relationship studies comprising middle-aged
couples who were typically married 10 years
or more.
Two of the studies included both long- and
short-term relationships in which it was
possible to distinguish the two samples.
The review found that those who reported
greater romantic love were more satisfied in
both the short- and long-term relationships.
Companion-like love was only moderately
associated with satisfaction in both short-
and long-term relationships.
And those who reported greater passionate
love in their relationships were more
satisfied in the short term compared to the
long term.
Couples who reported more satisfaction in
their relationships also reported being
happier and having higher self-esteem.
Feeling that a partner is “there for you”
makes for a good relationship, Acevedo said,
and facilitates feelings of romantic love.
On the other hand, “feelings of insecurity
are generally associated with lower
satisfaction, and in some cases may spark
conflict in the relationship. This can
manifest into obsessive love,” she said.
This discovery may change people’s
expectations of what they want in long-term
relationships.
According to the authors, companionship
love, which is what many couples see as the
natural progression of a successful
relationship, may be an unnecessary
compromise. “Couples should strive for love
with all the trimmings,” Acevedo said.
“And
couples who’ve been together a long time and
wish to get back their romantic edge should
know it is an attainable goal that, like
most good things in life, requires energy
and devotion.”
Article: “Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill
Romantic Love?” Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, and
Arthur Aron, PhD, Stony Brook University;
Review of General Psychology, Vol. 13, No.
1.
The American Psychological Association (APA),
in Washington, DC, is the largest scientific
and professional organization representing
psychology in the United States and is the
world's largest association of
psychologists. APA's membership includes
more than 150,000 researchers, educators,
clinicians, consultants and students.
Through its divisions in 54 subfields of
psychology and affiliations with 60 state,
territorial and Canadian provincial
associations, APA works to advance
psychology as a science, as a profession and
as a means of promoting human welfare.
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