Throughout
the ages the funeral has held a valuable place in nearly all cultures,
regardless of the century or place. One famous example is offered by the
intricate mummification rituals of the Egyptians, who also practiced
ceremonial entombment. Another comes from the Romans and Greeks, who
created outlying cemeteries to which they bore their dead in
processional fashion. In more recent history, the numerous services and
processions of Abraham Lincoln were attended by an estimated five
million people.
Then as now, death and its rituals
were greatly significant to the living. In our culture, funerals and
memorial services help us acknowledge death and allow us to say goodbye.
They provide support for the bereaved through the presence of friends
and family members. On a deeper level, the funeral causes us to
contemplate the meaning of life and death while also demonstrating
continuance ... life, even in the presence of death, does go on. The
many ritual elements that surround the funeral are the basis for these
developments.
The first such ritual is a gathering
where the body is present in an open or closed casket. Referred to as
the visitation, viewing, calling hours, or wake, it is always a time for
friends and family members to pay their respects. This ritual allows
loved ones to make their last farewells to the deceased while accepting
the support of others.
The funeral or memorial service is a
ritual composed of numerous elements that aid and comfort the bereaved.
Nearly every service is centered around a eulogy, which pays tribute to
the life of the deceased and expresses gratitude for the contributions
he or she made. It is traditionally delivered by a clergy person, but
eulogies may also be given by friends, family members or business
associates. The eulogy benefits the bereaved by affirming the value and
importance of their loved one's life.
An emphasis on communicating the
unique qualities of someone's life is another element of today's
services, which have taken on new dimensions by reflecting the
personality of the deceased. Dignity Memorial(R) funeral and cremation
service providers have incorporated Harley motorcades, internet
memorials, hobbies, favorite cars and organizations into these
celebrations of life. The bereaved often find extra comfort in these
special tributes.
Musical selections that were
meaningful to the deceased or the family are another integral part of
the service. Music helps friends and family members access their
feelings and embrace their memories.
The service often includes several
visual symbols, such as flowers, candles, family photos and movies.
Flowers at a funeral or memorial service are usually given by friends
and family members, symbolizing love of the deceased and support of the
bereaved. The candle's bright flame represents the human spirit and the
continuance of life after death. Photos and home videos are symbolic of
personal relationships and the ability one person has to impact many
lives.
Depending on the family's wishes, the
service may be followed by a procession to a separate committal service
at a cemetery. If the family preferred cremation, a ceremony may be held
for scattering or interment of the ashes. This ritual allows family and
friends to perform a special act of love and respect. At the same time,
this event symbolizes the finality of death and helps the bereaved
continue their acceptance of it.
Many services are followed by informal
gatherings, a ritual that reaffirms the support of the bereaved by
friends and family. The gathering also acts as a transition, confirming
life's continuance.
In these valuable ways, then, the
customs of the funeral or memorial service help the bereaved accept
death and begin to live without their loved one. Though the funeral or
memorial service is of great importance, few are experienced when it
comes to its planning. Today's rituals include many options to celebrate
someone's life, which may prove confusing, even overwhelming. This is
particularly true if little advance thought was given to final
arrangements. Did the loved one want a traditional funeral with a burial
... or cremation? What music should be played? Where should the service
be held? Often, family members and friends are unsure of the answers and
worry about making poor choices.
This stress and difficulty can be
compounded if family members live in another region or state, and are
forced to make costly last-minute travel arrangements to attend a
funeral. To help families resolve these issues, the North American
network of Dignity Memorial(R) funeral, cremation and cemetery service
providers created the Consumer's Funeral Resource Guide and the Dignity
Memorial Bereavement Travel Program. The guide answers many questions
about funeral and cremation services, while the travel program helps
family members obtain discounted airfares when attending services
arranged by members of the Dignity Memorial network. To obtain a free
copy of the Consumer's Funeral Resource Guide, or to learn more about
the Dignity Memorial Bereavement Travel Program, call 1-800-DIGNITY.
Additional information about Dignity Memorial programs is available at
www.dignitymemorial.com .
The Dignity Memorial network of
funeral, cremation and cemetery service providers includes affiliates of
Service Corporation International, the world's largest death care
company, as well as many other independent funeral establishments. As of
March 31, 2003, SCI operated 2,266 funeral service locations, 436
cemeteries and 189 crematoria.
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