Don’t
let Holiday stress turn you into a frenetic, miserable nutcase
Newswise — While songs claim that it is the “most wonderful time of
the year,” many people dread the winter holiday season. But it is
possible to have a holiday season that is enjoyable for everyone —
even those Martha Stewart types who aim to plan gatherings
reminiscent of a Currier and Ives Christmas card.
“There are media images of attractive friends and family
gathering for the holidays. They all look like they are
having more fun than you. This can breed a sense of
discontent about your life. Is it any wonder that many
people feel seriously depressed at this time of year?” says
Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, research associate professor of
psychology with the Family Research Laboratory at the
University of New Hampshire.
Is there a way to get through the holidays without feeling frazzled,
overloaded and exhausted? Can you celebrate in such a way that you
feel lifted up rather than worn down? According to Kendall-Tackett,
a health psychologist and author of The Well-Ordered Home, the
answer to both questions is yes. Here are some simple steps.
Keep
your expectations realistic.
“We shouldn’t expect week upon week of unending happiness during the
holidays. There will be ups and downs just like during the rest of
the year. Nor should we expect our homes, families and ourselves to
look and behave like the mythic creatures on television and in
magazines. This is particularly important with families with young
children. Changes in normal routines may make them feel ‘off.’ They
may hate their dress-up clothes that Grandma sent, and are at their
limits by the time everyone sits down to eat. It would be better to
have a low-key holiday that everyone enjoys,” she says.
Reach
out to others.
“In attempting to keep up with our long list of ‘shoulds,’ it’s very
easy to get focused only on ourselves or the needs of our immediate
families. You may come away from the holidays feeling like you
haven’t ‘measured up.’ Sometimes the best antidote for this
self-focus is reaching out to someone who truly has less,” she says.
Kendall-Tackett suggests finding out about opportunities for helping
others who have a tough time during the holidays and involving the
entire family. Groups in need can include children of prisoners,
patients in nursing homes, homeless people, or those who have lost
their jobs. Families can even request that money that would have
been spent on gifts be forwarded instead to one of these charities.
“Or you can simply reach out to the people in your neighborhood who
are alone for the holidays. This can be a wonderful opportunity to
spend some quality time together, and do some good for others at the
same time,” she says.
Make conscious choices about which rituals you want to participate
in.
Many times, people run from one holiday activity to another, not
really enjoying any of them. It is far better to pick the most
meaningful ones.
“Be honest with yourself. Do you really enjoy baking? Or holiday
cards? Or matching outfits for everyone? Or home decorations that
look like Martha Stewart is stopping by? If your answer is yes, then
by all means continue. If the answer is no, then think about
dropping the activities you don’t like, or assigning them to someone
else,” Kendall-Tackett says.
Take
care of your body.
This time of year people are prone to abuse their bodies with excess
sweets, snacks, rich food and alcohol. And because of a time
shortage, there is a tendency to sleep and exercise less. “Come
January, people feel totally trashed, are probably heavier, and are
all ready for the guilt campaigns designed to sell us exercise
equipment and diet products in the new year,” she says.
Kendall-Tackett’s advice: only eat the holiday treats you really
want. Promise that you won’t stay up late making holiday
preparations because you’ve have pared your activities down to a
reasonable amount. Take the time to rest even if it means that some
things won’t get done. And promise to take the time to enjoy friends
and family instead of running frantically from one activity to
another.
“It is possible for us to get through the holidays with a sense of
sanity and balance. Let’s all resolve to make conscious choices
about how much we want to do this year. Everyone in our lives will
notice a difference. And maybe this year, the holidays can be fun,”
she says.