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A 'Family Conversation' on estate planning
can strengthen ties between boomers and their parents 

Research from The Hartford Shows Older Parents Open to 'The Talk' About Money and Put Children First Defying a long-held taboo, parents in their 70s are far more likely to be comfortable discussing the sensitive issue of estate planning than their Baby Boomer children, and they also care more about helping their children financially than their children realize, according to research by The Hartford Financial Services Group, Inc. (NYSE: HIG - News).

The research, conducted by Mathew Greenwald & Associates as part of The Hartford's "Family Conversations" series, shows that older parents and their children need some help when discussing often uncomfortable estate planning issues. In response, The Hartford has created its Family Conversations Estate Planning Program to help bridge the imagined gap that sometimes divides generations. The program is available through financial professionals, including stockbrokers, financial planners, banks, insurance agents and others. Additional information is available at http://www.hartfordinvestor.com.

This is the second of The Hartford's Family Conversations programs. The first report, dealing with how families can discuss when the time is right for older drivers to moderate or stop driving, was issued in 2004.

"Older adults tell us they really do want to discuss topics such as estate planning, medical care and final arrangements with their children," said Maureen Mohyde, director of The Hartford's corporate gerontology group. "Because Boomers are often uncomfortable discussing these matters with their parents, The Hartford is offering some important ideas to bring them together."

The Hartford's research, which surveyed older parents between the ages of 70-79 and adults between the ages of 45-65, primarily Boomers, with at least one living parent, made the following key findings:

    * 76 percent of older parents say they are very comfortable with talking

      about their estate compared to 45 percent of Boomers who say they are

      very comfortable

    * Parents are far more comfortable discussing the content of their wills

      than their children realize, with 71 percent of parents saying they are

      very comfortable compared with 54 percent of children

    * Boomers underestimate the importance that parents place on providing for

      their heirs, improving their children's lifestyles, helping their

      children prepare for retirement, and helping grandchildren attend

      college

    * Significantly more older parents report having important estate planning

      documents such as living wills and durable power of attorneys than

      Boomers report they are aware of

    * Almost all older parents report talking to their children about their

      estate plan but fewer Boomers claim to have had this discussion

    * In general, Boomers say that their actual knowledge about their parents'

      estate issues is significantly less than their parents claim

"Our research indicates a clear 'Generation Gap' in communicating about estate planning," Mohyde said. "Families need help in bridging this gap and tackling these issues." To this end, Mohyde provided the following tips:

    * Focus first on things you agree on.  Both parents and their Boomer

      children are ultimately looking out for each other's best interests.

      Given this, discussion should focus on where parents and children can

      help each other rather than where they might disagree.

    * Build on shared values.  The Hartford survey showed that older parents

      place more value on helping their children accomplish important

      financial goals such as improving their lifestyles, securing their

      retirement, and educating their grandchildren than their children

      realize.  Talking about shared values can lead to discussions about

      estate planning.

    * Parents should reach out first.  Because older parents are more

      comfortable talking about estate planning, it's easier for them to

      bring up the topic with their children.  If a child cuts the

      conversation short, pick another time to discuss the issue but be

      persistent.

    * Boomers should remember that their parents are comfortable talking about

      estate planning.  If an older parent has not brought it up, Boomers

      should take heart.  Older parents are not only comfortable discussing

      estate planning, they are more receptive to suggestions about planning

      such as writing a will than children realize.

    * Boomers should ask how they can help parents maintain their

      independence.  Estate planning can involve drawing up important legal

      directives such as a durable power of attorney, living will or health

      care directive.  These directives can play a big part in helping older

      parents ensure their wishes are carried out, even if their health

      fails.  Asking parents about the steps they have taken in these areas

      can be an important opening to talk about larger estate planning

      issues.

"What we've learned from our survey and conversations with older adults is that estate planning is really not about money, it's about creating lasting bonds within families," Mohyde said. "By reaching out, families can help cement those bonds and preserve memories for generations."